Star Forrest 

I have always dreamed of the nursery that I would bring my baby home to. I have to admit that the star Forrest (the nursery we created for our son) turned out better than I ever imagined. I am so proud to show you all this space that we spent so much time and love creating! 

The Art of Self Fulfillment

Today I am feeling happy and proud. I am thinking that the luxury of getting to sleep in ,with my babies and my man this morning, has a lot to do with it. It truly is crazy how much sleep effects all aspects of your life and health. But, aside from a night of much needed rest I am also feeling happy because I feel like I am finally getting in touch with myself again. After having spending the last year focusing all my time and energy on having a baby and starting a family, I am ready to spend some time on me again.

I am so happy with the way my home has turned out and how perfect my sweet little family is but there is definitely some aspects in my life that I feel are lacking and in need of some attention, especially my career. I have sort of hit a brick wall of “what do I do now that I am a Mom and I have to put my family first?”  I feel like at this point I should know what I want to do but I feel further from the answer everyday.

I want to have a successful career that brings me and joy and that I am proud but I just have no idea in what field. I have so many things I want to pursue that I am scared to do any of them. I am at sort of at a stand still in my job at the moment where I am currently unable to make a change but I want to begin preparing myself now, so that when I am ready I am can be  as prepared as possible.

Since I need some help figuring out some things in my head, I decide this is a great outlet. I am going to be trying a lot of new things that I will be sharing my experience on in a new series “The art of Self fulfillment.”

Today, I am starting a new series that is a little out of my comfort zone but I can already tell its going to be great. Today, I took a step toward bettering my mental health by seeing a doctor and working through some things. Today, I woke up genuinely excited about the day for the first time in a while, and for that I am feeling fulfilled and thankful. What are some things you do that fulfill you? What made you sure what career path to choose? Tell me all about your self fulfillment journey and stay tuned for mine!

-Allie

Keeping My Eye on The Prize

For those of you still bearing with me through this whole venture, thank you and greetings! I am definitely still mastering the art of balance. After returning back to work and still adjusting to parenthood and being a new mom, I feel like I am in a whirlwind.

Since I have a few free minutes I decided I would give a little life update. I have returned back to my job after twelve blissful weeks of family time and baby snuggles. I had hoped that I wouldn’t have to return to work after having Theodore, but not everything has gone according to plan. Surprising, right? Because when does life ever really go as planned? Atlas, I am back at my job and embracing  being a working Mom. Thankfully, I have been able to go back to work part time which has made leaving Theodore a lot more bearable. It has been very healthy for me to have a reason to have to leave the house multiple times a week and to have various social interactions.  Its crazy how much you don’t realize you have secluded yourself after having a baby.

The balance of work and family is starting to become manageable, although I am always begging for more time with my boys in our little infinity.

But, for a few weeks things did not seem manageable.

I was trying to  keep myself very tightly together and suddenly everything started to feel out of control. I blame sleep deprivation first and for most. I also blame postpartum because the whole experience is just so damn much, not to mention the ragging and changing hormones.

For a few days I feel like I really lost my composure and in those days I learned some very valuable things.

  • For one, you can’t give up. If you give up and you quit then you will never know how far you can go. There have been so many days from my pregnancy to today (three months postpartum) that I all I wanted was to give up. Knowing what I know now, all I would change was my negative attitude and faith in my ability to handle the storm and ride out the waves.
  • For two, you can’t stress about life. No matter what you’re going to have struggles and life is going to test you. The more you stress about it the more you are wasting your time and energy, which is quiet limited if you think about it.
  • For three, it really helps to talk about your feelings. As cliche as it is, it’s true. Just talking out the thoughts in your head can help any situation. I found myself feeling all this pint up negative energy leave my body as soon as I started talking about the way I was feeling.
  • Lastly, keep goals in front of you. After a few months of things not going at all the way we have planned, I am proud to say we have pushed  through all the bullshit and are still battling strong. How? By setting goals everyday. We started with little ones and tackled big goals we had for months, all within a few weeks.

I am so thankful that I have had a partner to go through the trenches with and a family that loves and helps us as we endure adulthood and parenthood. I am finally feeling like things are settling down again and I am able to gather myself. With that being said, I am hoping to keep the updates coming and dedicate more time to this venture of mine.

 

 

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Today was one of those days where parenthood makes you want to put vodka in your much needed coffee. Between my cat (Princess Pumpkin) and my adoring son, I was on the struggle from the early hours of the morning. Theodore woke at 5am and has been a lot more difficult today than most & Pumpkin has decided to find every single opportunity to claw my butt ,unexpectedly, that she can. Thankfully, Theo is an incredibly baby. He is so smart and generally very good. But, when he is difficult, boy is he difficult. Today felt like I lived through several battles and nearly survived any of them. After twelve hours of non-stop mom-ing I am sitting down with a mimosa watching my fiancé make us dinner. I am so thankful that even on the worst days and through the stressful times, I am so in love with the life I am building. Thank God for moments like this after days like these.

On a positive note, I have been on this progress kick where I am constantly wanting to work on my house and my yard. Sam and I have spent the last two weeks or so staying really busy doing productive and positive things for our home and our life. Its actually pretty addictive, especially since for the past year we have been bed bodies due to my difficult pregnancy and our love of netflix-ing. I am really proud of us. We have been working really hard on both the inside and outside of our house. It has been such a learning process to move into this home that needed A LOT of TLC  and watch it transform with our family. Some of our projects have really turned out awesome and some have turned out nothing like we planned. I am very excited that I am finally able to decorate and create a space that makes me happy. Our home has truly become my happy place. I look forward spending more and more of my time dedicated to building a beautiful homestead and writing about the experiences we are learning. I will be sharing some of our DIY, Crafts, Home Improvement and cleaning skills, along with some amusing tales of Sam and I through the process.

I hope that our story can encourage everyone that with a little effort and a lot of patience you can turn a house into a gorgeous home.

 

*Stay Tuned for my craft/DIY section coming in the next few days!*

The Sound of Silence

I used to hate the sound of my own thoughts. It really used to be a problem for me when I was younger. I would do just about anything to keep my thoughts from over flowing in my head. I eventually learned to hate the sound of silence.  I constantly had music playing, a TV on, or was talking to myself at the very least. I would do anything to keep from being silent. By time I realized it was a problem I was scared to embrace the quiet.

Yesterday as I was rocking my son to sleep, the only sound I could hear was the whisper of the wind and the singing bird voices, & I realized in that moment how much I LOVE the quiet moments now. I honestly didn’t think that would ever happen. Between constantly over thinking, over analyzing everything, and always studying human nature, my mind was always a chaotic mess. Everything in my life has been out of control for as long as I can remember and sometimes my thoughts got really weird and some even really bad. Now, I am in such a state of happiness and bliss. I may still think a thousand miles a minute but I feel a lot more in control of my life and especially my thoughts. I have really pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone so that I can face fears, such as being in complete silence or allowing my thoughts to overtake my anxieties.

For me, one of the best ways to accomplish this was learning to shut everything off. Taking baby steps like not listening to music when I work out and focusing on the sound of my breathing (heavy breathing, I might add) , or turning off the TV and opening the window to focus on the sound of bird melodies, or putting my phone down before I am ready to go to sleep to allow my thoughts to bring me to slumber, all of these things have truly changed the amount of stress and anxiety in my life.

I am falling in love with silence for the first time, its intoxicating & its really beautiful.  I feel like I am balancing out the constant intake of information.

Whether you have struggled with letting the quiet in or if you enjoy the silence more than anything…take a moment to just exist.

 

 

The Incomplete

I’ve been trying to write a new post for several days now but it just isn’t that simple anymore. I thought writing was hard before I became a new mom…now it just seems damn near impossible. Lately it feels like all of my thoughts are incomplete before I am moving on to the next one. I am in such a transition in my life right now and I am desperately trying to grasp on to all of the moving parts. I just recently moved into my first home, got engaged and became a new mother. All of the dreams I created in my head as a little girl have all started to come to life. Its overwhelming.  I am ready to start trying to take all these incomplete thoughts about my home, about becoming a new mother, about maintaing a strong healthy relationship and most importantly about this transition of becoming myself and.. I want to make these thoughts & feelings whole. I am going to be spending as much time as I can be (in between the chaos, so not as frequently as I’d like) working on this blog…..I believe or maybe just hope that my thoughts can impact someones life. So, heres to working through all this and hopefully being able to formulate it for you all to read.

I am hoping to get some yummy recipes as well as a little life update up in the next couple of days, stay tuned!